It is celebrated with prodigious vehemence and zeal. Beginning with a number of events, wedding in Pakistan does not culminate in a single day but spans over a week or two and in some families even more. The eminent wedding celebrations comprise certain pre-wedding functions like engagement, Dholki, Mayoun, Ubtan, Mehndi and then comes the most awaited wedding day namely Barat followed by after-marriage events like Valima and C hauthi.
Every event is unique in its strategy, dress selection, food selection, and other minute details. There were times in Pakistan when people were people lived in little houses in underprivileged conditions. Their most prized possession was the cloth their daughter would wear on her wedding day. However, over the years, the wedding ceremonies have grown to a gargantuan extent with much attention given to every microscopic detail. It is not an unanticipated and startling development; as the metropolises have swelled with newer onsets and the progeny of old inhabitants have aged, betrothals are many and extra resplendent.
The wedding is an insignia of culture, and the Pakistani culture, assaulted by years of war and demographic changes, stands altered. However, the recent Pakistani weddings, with resonating loyalty to traditions mainly imitated from Bollywood epics, and is an effort to covers the breaches and the inequity in the society.
Behind the concealed obligatory merriment lies a wavering social fabric that is different from its past and yet is also uncertain of its future. The big fat weddings have long been a South Asian assertion, and at present, the urban Pakistanis have started endorsing its grandiosity and ersatz romanticism with the artifice of Bollywood fabrications.
There are glamorous actors and actresses, scriptwriters, set designers, music and choreography villains. The only difference, however, is that the fantasy and illusions of Bollywood creations are well recognized but the verbiage of the Pakistani wedding, its gloss over frayed families, its glorious re-enactment of filmic sagas maintains the impression of marriages being only as a joyful thing. The food on baraat is usually lavish and rich. Pakistani food items usually include pulao, biryani, chicken curry, kebabs etc.
Kheers and halwas are usually part of desserts. Baraats can be rather stressful occasions for the bride and her family. This is because it is a kind of goodbye between them. Also stress gets built up from all past preparations and events, which adds to it.
Slow music is usually played on baraats. Such is done because a lot of pictures are to be taken on Baraat day. All in all, baraats are fun events with a little touch of teary and emotional moments. The most painful moment is when the father of the bride sends off his daughter to a completely new home and environment. The last main event is the Walima. This event is a grand dinner and reception hosted by the groom.
This event is usually all about putting an end to the long series of wedding events, and to say thanks to guests and family. The food on the walima is almost the same as the baraat. The focus on this event is again on picture taking and just light gupshup. When the walima is over, the wedding officially comes to an end.
After this, the series of dinners and lunches start for the fresh couple. Makhlawa is one of them, where all family members and friends invite the newlywed couple to different dinners, lunches and brunches. This function makes the bride bound to stay at home even within her bedroom till the marriage day. Then in a day before marriage the groom hosts a function that is called Mehndi, in which the bride's relatives get together with the bride's relatives and the party becomes very entertaining as the participants sing songs and dance together.
Then marriage day comes when the groom takes a big procession called "Barat" normally consisting of over two to over five hundred people and this Barat goes to the Bride's home or the marriage marquee arranged by the bride's parents. A grand reception is arranged for the participants and after necessary religious and cultural rituals, the Barat returns to the groom's home along with the bride.
Then the next day, the groom hosts a grand lunch or dinner called Walima and then the marriage ceremony ends. Najam Hassan: No, with the passage of time things are changing now and specially in urban areas, the traditions are not being followed strictly. What our elders tell us about the marriage ceremonies in their time seems to be somewhat different now. The marriages are becoming more complicated and costlier now which is sought as a negative thing by many.
A middle class family if bride or groom has to spend at least three to four million rupees that is equivalant to over 20, US dollars. A snall portion of our society is also advocating for a simple and easy marriages. Bao Tram: Are there any differences between urban areas and rural areas? Najam Hassan: Mostly the ceremonies and rituals in both urban and rural areas are similar but the difference is that there is much glamor involved in the urban areas.
Female friends and family members will also have henna patterns applied with less elaborate designs than the bride. However over recent years the groom has become involved in the day with family and friends applying oil to his head. There is music and dancing involved to create a lively atmosphere and get everyone in the mood for the forthcoming wedding.
The most important part of the wedding is the Nikah, a formal ritual where the bride and groom exchange vows and make promises to one another. Before the couple are even allowed to see each other, a mehr, or symbolic presentation of gifts or money, is given to the bride by the groom.
After the Nikah ceremony there is a wedding celebration called the Walima. Typically the groom opts for a formal Western suit or tuxedo and the bride will wear a dazzling dress with gold jewellery provided by the groom.
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